The Five Values

Dragii mei puiuti,

Astazi as vrea sa va las ceva ce eu consider a fi foarte valoros si plin de invataminte: este o scrisoare pe care tatal vostru i-a trimis-o fratelui vostru mai mare, care se afla la varsta la care isi cauta drumul in viata si are nevoie de indrumari.

Sper sa o cititi cu placere peste ani si sa va fie de folos :)

The Five Values

My Beloved Son,

I am very proud of you. Really. Your complexity of thoughts increased to some level quit surprising,, it looks like. By time, as you find answer to your questions and concerns, they will get more organized and/or disciplined.

For now it’s great to hear you thinking like that. This is your life getting shape :). Back to your concerns I will try to be blunt, but you already know me, I have to go back to origins whenever I am explaining something. That’s because I am not sure whether the recipient is mastering all implied notions.

I will start with the hierarchy of values. Which are the most valuable things they stand foremost, ahead of anything else? Well, that’s a question wise people ask themselves until they die. At some point they get some answer and they will carry on with that, but they keep asking the same question just because values change along with life experience. And with that experience they got little wiser or little confused, but in the end everything comes to equilibrium. And there is the new answer. It either reinforces the previous one or it brings a change.

You will pass moments of doubt, my dear. Do not get dishearten, think of it like to a natural processes which the primordial output is to strengthen you. It is said that whatever did not kill you it make you stronger. In such moments, when your vision is blurred, rely on those who love you. Talk to them. It is not necessarily that they will give you a straight solution, but talking to them will help you get enlighten.
It is so good that you come to talk to me. I will never blame you for real, no matter what, but always I will offer you my shoulder, my opinion, my advice so you can feel an oasis of trust, of hope and a standing ground if you pass moving sands. You are my son, the one who extends my existence and this is the voice of blood which no normal person can negate. Those being said, let’s come back to the topics.

The most valuable values. Everyone is born with two resources, named health and time. These resources get consumed, you have to manage them well because they do not replenish by any means. Once worn or passed it stays worn and passed. To manage these two resources you have to be free in the forehand. Freedom will allow you the care you need to pay to these two resources.

It is said that you were born free. This is not entirely true. You are bond by your needs and your weaknesses. To overcome these needs and weaknesses you might have you need something which is called wealth. Wealth is a very complex notion and differs from people to people. Some see wealth as lot of money. Some see wealth like plenty assets. And very few see wealth as part of those before and topped by happiness or, at least, content (cred ca asa e in franceza, in engleza nu sunt sigur cum e, iar in romana e multumire).  That happiness which makes up the wealth outsources from your life style and more likely from people you are surrounded by, friends, mates and FAMILY.

As I’ve already told you money shall never be a scope, think of them like to a magic tool which helps you keeping everything in balance. It is not the money that is doing that, but it is you using the money, the way you spend them and for what. There are moments in someone’s life when life itself seems to fall apart and no money in the world can gather and keep the pieces of that life falling apart. It is YOU, and only YOU, with or without money, who has to overcome such difficult situation and revive toa new start, to a new balance.

So, money is a tool, a needed one. It will make things much easier, life more enjoyable, but just money is not enough, no matter how much. Again it is YOU USING MONEY. You are the crafter and a real crafter can do wonders with bare hands. Strive to be one. The more you strive the better you get, the easier it comes to handle facts and events.

Money will greatly increase your degree of freedom. Your needs and your weaknesses will decrease it. You need a new car, you have to sell yourself to get the money for the car, so you give up your freedom for a while, because someone else, the one who pays you, he will tell you what exactly to do. Well, things are not that bad, actually. You can get money by doing something you enjoy and anyhow you wanted to do. That’s the tricky part. Although when you work for someone else, you take care of his needs not of yours. Do not put money as a scope, so getting money can not be call that you take care of your needs. I hope that sometimes we will go more deeply in the money topic.

So, as far, we got health and time to take care of, for doing so we need freedom and wealth, but freedom is controlled by needs which consumes money, as well as wealth comes along with money making. That is the “telluric” part. The “angel” part is happiness which comes from your life style and the loved ones.  And then you have to accept to reduce your degree of freedom by making money just because you need  to increase your degree of freedom by using money. It sounds like turning in circles
forever, a never ending story. Well, there is some catch. First of all, you have not much telluric wealth, so you shall sell yourself to get some. Nothing bad with that. Plenty people do and they will always do. The catch is to do it for a good price and in a enjoyable, not damaging manner.

And there you are, here is the beginning and there is a long road to walk ahead. Road is long and not an easy one, the longer you walk on it the easier it gets. Follow your road, do not wander away from it too long. Sometimes you will do it because you need to take care of the “angel” part too. Return to your “telluric” path as soon as the “angel” pat got its deeds. Remain faithful to your believes, do not drift away, do not allow to be dragged away. Instead try to “drag” people on your path. Some will
leave, some will stay. If they leave do not fight to bring them back.
Staying with you on your path shall be natural, otherwise sooner or later they will disappoint you even if you temporarily won that fight. Those who naturally stay price them as one of the most valuable asset. They will be your friends, real friends. With them on your side walking on the path will get more like a fairy story. Well, that’s a topic I must leave for now for it is of great complexity.

Maybe it already comes to you straight forward why I put FREEDOM as the most valuable. Without it you can not manage well your resources, because someone else is managing you. And, without freedom, it is hard to believe that you can get the “angel” thing.

On the second place I would put health. If you are not healthy things get more difficult to manage since you must consume your time and wealth to stop your health degradation, to preserve it. Wealth making will suffer since you have less time for it, and less power. Health degrades anyway, it’s called aging, but you can delay the process by being aware of what can damage it, living as “natural” you can, looking always for balance.
Ufff, an another entire story we shall talk about, just keep thinking of it.

Third place is for time, the other of your “got for granted” resources. Usually people often forget to price things they got for granted. They start missing them almost when everything is lost. Love is one of “got for granted” thing. Time and health are few others. So pay great attention to what you get effortlessly. Managing well your time shall be a daily concern.  At the dawn or when you get up, plan your day, during the day try to stick with your plan, at the nightfall or before you go to sleep, analyze how your plan was going, what drifted you away, it was worth drifting away (sometimes yes, getting some unplanned accomplishments), it is anything you can do to avoid further drifting? Do this exercise on daily basis, it will become your third nature.

Your time is not entirely yours. Some you have to give up for money making, some you have to grant to people around you. None of this time is wasted, just it is not a time spend for you. As you get older, different purposes will bring you the feeling that pursuing them makes your time, your life. For now you shall consider spent time as yours whenever you strengthen yourself, like getting knowledge, education, improving skills. Oh, it might come a moment when you will give up strengthening yourself by pursuing the “angel” part of the youth. Talk to me, son, when this time
arrives. I might be able to guide you so you can keep your path and get drifted at the same time. Strengthening yourself pays off greatly. Later on, being adult, you must build up your wealth selling yourself for money making. The price you get depends on your know-how, your skills, your education, your training. So keep using time to strengthen yourself. The higher the price you can get, the less time you got stolen of, the much is left for your wellbeing. All these things can be said in a hundred ways, I
hope I am enough persuasive for you to understand the outstanding importance of time management. This is the best you can do at your age.

The forth, but not the last is FAMILY. Love those who love you, do not judge them, just try to understand good and bad, because they can hurt you from love. They wish you the best, what they believe it is best for you. So do not blame them if their best for you does not fit with what you think it is best for you. Love your mother beyond anything, for there is no person on the world who loves you more. Forgive her anything and everything, for she will never consciously try to hurt you, for she will
always try to comfort you.  She is the one who nourished you in all things. Actually you shall remain in debt to her forever. It might come a moment when her wishes may contradict yours. Do not fight her, try to find a workaround, talk to her, explain yourself and all of that in a pacific manner. Things might not settle down as fast as you expect, be patient with her. Women have a sixth sense they are not able to explain, but that is true, so weight well what she’s telling you before negating. Ask
yourself, even your logic does not see the point, what if your mother is right. Believe me, I wish I had done the same. Of course this topic does not end here, you will have your own family, spouse and kids,

God, I hope so. Just I feel it is not the right place and moment to extend my debate
on this.

For now, you can consider on fifth place building your entourage. The people you work with, you meet along your path. How you behave, the way you make people feel about you can smooth your path or can make it much harsh. This is an art to master, and you shall have this on your daily agenda.  Read as much possible on the topic. Even you don’t see the linkage with your actual situation, keep gathering info. At some point all things will glue together. Smile, be polite, try to be persuasive within your pursuing without being invading, aggressive, harsh, anything of these
and not only. People shall embraces your ideas with the feeling that they are actually their ideas and not imposed, even presented by you. That’s the art. Go for it. You will start by failing, but the more you practice, the more you think about, the less you fail.

Discussion may continue forever for these are topics on which people wrote about few millennia.  Your feedback it is not only greatly desired and appreciated, but it is necessary before continuing.

So these are the bricks of your foundation. Work on them before getting into details as what job shall I have, and the answers will present themselves with more easiness. That is my advice.

Of course I will tell you my opinion about what kind of job looks like more suitable to allow you wealth and happiness. Do not be disappointed that this is not happening now. I will resume in a next letter. It’s just late and tomorrow is another working day. This is not gonna end here.
That’s your father, talking a lot before getting to the point:).

Love you.